The Unexpected New Black
May 13, 2015
Filed Under: Style
Do you ever have one of those days where it seems like the world is against you? Where every little thing you set out to do comes with unexpected difficulties, and before you know it, your to-do list becomes a fire breathing dragon determined to take you down? Yesterday was such a beast of a day.
After a battle with updating the operating system on my laptop all morning and early afternoon, I had reached the point of giving up, and returned home to continue working in grumpiness and solitude. But the universe had different plans. Upon arriving at my front door, I realized I left my apartment key at a friend’s, and he wasn’t available for several hours (really, today of all days??). So I turned myself around and headed out to a coffee shop … whose Yelp page falsely advertised free wifi … went to a different coffee shop … same problem. Third time’s the charm, right? Wrong. Coffee shop #3 had wifi, so I bought a kombucha, only to overhear the barista tell another customer the internet had been out all day.
So while I sat staring at that dreaded exclamation mark over empty wifi bars, I decided all that was left to do was read. I pulled out “The Desire Map” (yes, still slowly nibbling my way through it), and started reading about expectations. Suddenly the space I embodied, which just moment prior felt like a vortex of unproductivity, shifted into an opportunity. It had been days since I felt comfortable setting work aside in favor of feeding my own needs, and now it felt like my only option. Despite the fact that I’ve allowed self-care to become a last resort, I am thankful of the reminder I was given yesterday.
I began my day with expectations, and I allowed my happiness to hinge on those expectations. We can’t control everything, and if we allow our satisfaction to depend on things going entirely to plan, we are going to be incredibly disappointed. I’m slowly learning to approach goal-making in a way that won’t set me up for a huge let-down at the end. I loved this portion of the chapter I read yesterday:
“Lay down expectations, take up sincerity. I was still focused on my desires, but I released my grip on the future, and I felt incredibly present.
Intentions? Of course. I love my intentions. Goals? Make them if you need to. Expectations? Ease up on them. Expectations shrink your shine and weigh you down with worry and equations.
Expectation liberation is the new black. Style up.“
Jacket: White Crow
Tee: River Island (Same.)
Necklace: Katie Dean Jewelry (Same.)
Jeans: Gap (Save. Save. Spend. Splurge.)
Boots: Sam Edelman via Shopbop (Same. Save. Spend. Splurge.)
So I guess the moral of this post is: Wear black and let go of expectations. That’s not exactly what Danielle LaPorte was getting at, but it means something to me so I’m running with it.