A Transition

May 25, 2015

Filed Under: Style

Happy Memorial Day, everyone! I am spending my day packing up my current two-bedroom apartment that I share with Fairfax in preparation to move into a one-bedroom house. While I’ve always anticipated that I would be living alone at the end of my current lease, I’m starting to reflect on how much having my own place has the potential to change my life. Confession: I’ve never lived alone before.

Last night, I was out to dinner with a good friend who has lived alone off and on since graduating from college, and has currently lived in her own place for two years. The advice she gave me was to expect a “transition”. I can’t help but feel like I’m on the brink of a new phase in my life. I’m moving a minor ten minutes away but my place is fairly secluded, in a quiet part of town at the base of the mountains, and I’ll occupy my own four walls. This cute, little bungalow met nearly all the points on my wish-list, and miraculously came in under budget. I imagine I will be in this home for awhile.

Life is opening up to me in unimaginable ways. With the combination of being self-employed, having complete privacy, and very few obligations, I’m days away from a scary freedom I’ve never experienced before. And while I do know that it’ll be an adjustment not having someone to chat with at the end of the night, or make coffee with first thing in the morning, this is the next necessary step. Having others to turn to and rely on is invaluable but not when it becomes a dependency and compromises your own sense of self. I’ve questioned my judgement and desires more times that I can count, but I learned to listen to my own advice … and now I’m here. To me, this transition is symbolic of the end of the past two and a half years of upheaval. It’s the final stretch. I’m putting roots down again.

If I met this version of myself five years ago, I wouldn’t have recognized the woman I saw in front of me and, to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have liked her. I would have disagreed with her decisions, beliefs, opinions, goals, and resented her for her confidence, attitude, and independence. I would have chosen something completely different for myself, but the beauty of life is that we don’t always have that option. Looking forward, I would have wanted another way. Looking back, I’m so thankful I’m here. I guess that’s a lesson in itself about being open-minded not only to others, but also to yourself. Allow space to grow, encourage a spacious mind for new perspective, and maintain a sense of wonder about the future. You don’t have it all figured out, I promise.

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Outfit Breakdown:
Cardigan: Nasty Gal (Save. Spend. Splurge.)
Sweater: Madewell via Shopbop (Same. Save. Spend. Splurge.)
Necklace: Estate Sale (Similar.)
Jeans: Gap (Save. Spend. Splurge.)
Boots: Sam Edelman via Shopbop (Same. Save. Spend. Splurge.)

Sidenote: After my move I won’t have someone to ask, “Do you like this outfit?” whenever I need a second opinion. This combination was created by accident. I was cold one night so I threw on the long sweater to wear around the house, and Fairfax said she liked it thinking I had been wearing it all day. So I wore it again and Bryan took these pictures.

 

7 Responses to “A Transition”

  1. anna says:

    yes. to it all. especially your toothy smile.

  2. Erin says:

    Congratulations, girl!

    I’ve lived alone in LA for ~2 years now and I think you’re going to enjoy it a ton. Been following your blog for a few years and it’s great to see you back at it! You’re growing so much and living alone is going to help you discover who you really are, good and bad. Good luck and have a great move!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Congratulations! It’s not as scary as it sounds :) I’m traveling by myself to Bosnia this summer and am experiencing some of the same feelings.

  4. Katy says:

    Long time reader since 2011…..I love this post. It has been really inspiring reading about your transitions over the last few years. I really admire your decision to live alone. It can be tough, but you learn a new normal. Ultimately, we always have everything we could ever need right in our hearts and souls. Good luck with the move!

  5. Katy says:

    And your hair looks amazinggggg

  6. Alicia says:

    I absolutely love your blog. I find parallels with your transition in life, and reading about it sometimes helps me reflect into mine. Makes me feel like I’m not alone in going through so many changes such as life after love.

  7. mary says:

    hi kaylee
    how are you
    have looked at your blog in a while
    you look great. very happy, sparkly and serene.
    i hope you are safe in your new place.
    so excited for you, what an inspiration you are.

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