May 25, 2015
Filed Under: Style
Happy Memorial Day, everyone! I am spending my day packing up my current two-bedroom apartment that I share with Fairfax in preparation to move into a one-bedroom house. While I’ve always anticipated that I would be living alone at the end of my current lease, I’m starting to reflect on how much having my own place has the potential to change my life. Confession: I’ve never lived alone before.
Last night, I was out to dinner with a good friend who has lived alone off and on since graduating from college, and has currently lived in her own place for two years. The advice she gave me was to expect a “transition”. I can’t help but feel like I’m on the brink of a new phase in my life. I’m moving a minor ten minutes away but my place is fairly secluded, in a quiet part of town at the base of the mountains, and I’ll occupy my own four walls. This cute, little bungalow met nearly all the points on my wish-list, and miraculously came in under budget. I imagine I will be in this home for awhile.
Life is opening up to me in unimaginable ways. With the combination of being self-employed, having complete privacy, and very few obligations, I’m days away from a scary freedom I’ve never experienced before. And while I do know that it’ll be an adjustment not having someone to chat with at the end of the night, or make coffee with first thing in the morning, this is the next necessary step. Having others to turn to and rely on is invaluable but not when it becomes a dependency and compromises your own sense of self. I’ve questioned my judgement and desires more times that I can count, but I learned to listen to my own advice … and now I’m here. To me, this transition is symbolic of the end of the past two and a half years of upheaval. It’s the final stretch. I’m putting roots down again.
If I met this version of myself five years ago, I wouldn’t have recognized the woman I saw in front of me and, to be honest, I probably wouldn’t have liked her. I would have disagreed with her decisions, beliefs, opinions, goals, and resented her for her confidence, attitude, and independence. I would have chosen something completely different for myself, but the beauty of life is that we don’t always have that option. Looking forward, I would have wanted another way. Looking back, I’m so thankful I’m here. I guess that’s a lesson in itself about being open-minded not only to others, but also to yourself. Allow space to grow, encourage a spacious mind for new perspective, and maintain a sense of wonder about the future. You don’t have it all figured out, I promise.
Cardigan: Nasty Gal (Save. Spend. Splurge.)
Sweater: Madewell via Shopbop (Same. Save. Spend. Splurge.)
Necklace: Estate Sale (Similar.)
Jeans: Gap (Save. Spend. Splurge.)
Boots: Sam Edelman via Shopbop (Same. Save. Spend. Splurge.)
Sidenote: After my move I won’t have someone to ask, “Do you like this outfit?” whenever I need a second opinion. This combination was created by accident. I was cold one night so I threw on the long sweater to wear around the house, and Fairfax said she liked it thinking I had been wearing it all day. So I wore it again and Bryan took these pictures.