After an evening of encouraging and challenging conversation with a few women in my book club, I woke up at 5am, clicked the top button on my phone to check the time, and was greeted by touching text messages from a couple of friends. Messages that read, “You deserve everything you want.” and “It was a breath of fresh air to have shared and spent time with you. It’s inspired me.” I attempted to drift off to sleep again but my mind was reeling with the conversation I had the night before and the friendships I have with those who thought to send me these texts. I began creating an idea for a short essay, but of course when I awoke in the morning it had all escaped me. Here is what I do remember: it contained the themes that I typically write about: self value, women’s worth, true friendship, but even beyond that, I was thinking about the way we as women treat each other.
The deep bonds I’ve shared with the women in my life have proved to be invaluable. It’s a beautiful thing to be a part of a group of women who love and care about each other unconditionally as if we were family. Since establishing this companionship, I’ve completely repelled any sort of female drama and almost become repulsed by it. Questions of why women are so critical and cruel to one another have been floating around in my mind. Aren’t we all fighting the same battle? Don’t we all have similar wounds and stories? Why do we demean and negatively analyze each other? Aren’t we on the same team? And even beyond that, why are we so quick to forgive men but so harsh on other women? If anything, shouldn’t we be more forgiving? We are from the same mold. We know each other. We understand each other. Shouldn’t we be able to connect and give grace to one another when it is deserved? Even when it’s not? Sometimes I think we don’t give one another a chance.
We could learn so much about love, grace, friendship, gentleness, relationships, ourselves, the world, the heart if we were more focused on finding the good in other women than the bad, if we were encouraging rather than demeaning, if we tried to understand each other instead of judging.
On that note, I haven’t perfected this and don’t think I ever will. I’m a never-ending work in progress … but it’s been on my mind. And that’s all I have to say about that. Here’s an outfit. It made me feel like a lady.
Photos by Mae.
Pssst. Like the necklace I’m wearing? You can win one for yourself! Enter the That’s Mine! giveaway here.